Bewilderment-thoughts

How ah hao?

2010-04-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

Home sweet home.
Life in camp turned to hell,
trainings are getting tougher than before.
Book out drink drank drunk,
$$$ spend spend spend,
book in chiong chiong chiong.

I needa girlfriend, HAHAH!
Guess i'm letting it go already,
and i made it this time round.
I've grown up man! LOL.

2010-04-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

Its just a crushcrushcrush . .
I freaking needa control myself,
everything's gonna be just fine.

PS : i dreamt about you last night.

P.O.P

2009-12-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

121209 marks the end of my basic military training phase.
Advance infantry training's up next, goodness sake.
Anw, had a memorable passing out parade last sat.
Hmm . . felt kinda random maybe cos i've got mixed feelings.
I miss the used-to-be section 4 like out of a sudden.
Alright, nothing much more to add on i guess, kinda tired.
Shall update again when i have the bloody free time.

Book out book out day~

The smile

2009-08-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

I still remember those days back then.
Chun How used to have no worries and fun.
Days and eventually years passed so quickly,
everything in life seems like an obstacle now.

I realized i've changed so much these few years,
sometimes i don't wish to continue the journey in life.
I just wanna lead a care-free and simple life,
but problem comes after another breaking me down.
Holding on alone and always putting on a *fake* smile.
Trying my best to be strong in front of anyone else.

Maybe i just feel so lonely at times.
Where's my Mrs right?
Who's gonna bring back the smile on my face?

If god is fair

2009-08-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

Time flies and life's changing.
enlistment date is just ard the corner,
gonna become a government slave soon.
fate isn't always on my side,
and love is getting harder than before.
i've forgotten how to fall in love . . .

I'm different from you guys,
not the typical jassen you see anymore.
I've forgotten how to smile . . .

Friends are my only accompanion,
whenever i needa crying shoulder
but i've forgotten how to trust . . .

Hidden thoughts and feelings are sealed.
Am i able to handle all these stuffs?
I've got no idea how am i suppose to move on.
I've forgotten how to live . . .

I just have one simple wish.
If god is fair, i hope.
I really hope all my loved ones and friends
will be showered with all your love and blessings.
Take my life away for all these,
in exchange for beautiful smiles and laughters.

I missed my mom out of a sudden.
She will always be my only love,
forever will be . . .

Gone

2009-07-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

I hate myself, i hate love and i trust nobody.
Guess i'm changing once again . . .
Are we still friends?

Thoughts

2009-07-02T02:50:00.000-07:00

270509, the day you appeared in my life.
Time flies and love blossoms eventually,
never did i realise i would fall in love once again.

We got to know one another better as time passed,
and i try to take small lil' steps into your life.
Thought there was a possibility of bringing our hands together,
but from there, things turned out the wrong way.

I'm sorry to cause all these misunderstandings and conflicts,
maybe my existence in your life ruined your happiness.
Even though i know it's not entirely because me,
i'll rather take the pain and everything,
in exchange for your beautiful smile and laughter.

I missed those hugs and everything . . .
i'm a man after all, i need love and care.
Will you take my hands and show me what love is all about?

Back on the track

2009-06-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

I love you, i know you do either.
Maybe it's not the right time yet,
and i bet there are still unclarified doubts between us.
Let nature takes its own course i guess.

I wish i could take a step closer,
but those flashbacks and phobia held me back.
I've always been yearning for a new soul,
but i don't wish to fall for the wrong *soul* again.
Soul signifies something unique and special.
I'd named you as the soul that i'm searching for,
and your name is solely engraved in my heart.

Back on the track of falling in love.
We just need a lil' more time before a new fairytale starts.
Maybe it wouldn't even happen at all,
but at least i've tried to express out my feelings.

I dislike, not to the extent of hate, empty promises.
I can't possibly love you forever,
but i'll love you wholeheartedly by all means . . .

故事未完成

只要再給我多一點時間
希望能給你全部的世界
我無法改變錯過的一切
只能讓思念如夢般盤旋

只要再給我多一點時間
想為你完成所有的心願
太多的夢想太多的諾言
等待每夜慢慢實現

讓所有悲傷在日落後終結
讓我陪你繼續未完的情節
就算你在天邊就算你在地面
兩顆真心像風箏連著一條線

讓所有快樂在日出前慢延
讓我看見你最幸福的笑顏
雖然你在天邊雖然你在地面
我們的愛要相約到永遠

Happy go lucky

2009-06-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

Have been on non-stop alcohol-marathon,
hmm for like almost 2 weeks straight without fail??
Yeah, kind of insane i know but i'm happy.

I'd cleared my doubts and some random thoughts.
Initially i thought it was just another infatuation case,
but guess i'm pretty serious this time round.
I don't know if i should give it a try, definitely not now,
but i'll wait patiently for the perfect time.
Heading over to 12th element later in the night.
I miss you . . .

Moving on

2009-06-03T05:14:00.000-07:00

You were the one who built me up,
yet you tore me down and left without a single word.
I'm not those typical guys out there you see
but being faithful and sincere doesn't really convinced you.
I lied to myself and gave you upteem chances,
but tears fall like a string of beads again and again.

I'm moving on, and i'm never gonna turn back.
Wake up to your senses and seriously think about it.
Don't cry over spilt milk when you fall once again,
i can never stand by your side like i used to.
Though i might not be the best of what you'd expected,
but i've tried my best to give you the best that i could.
It's all too late for everything . . .
but still, wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

PS : Someone new came into my life.

Hardest word

2009-05-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

Flashes of memories went through my head.
5th-7th of May was those memorable days.
I don't really know if she still remembers,
but to me, it was the happiest moments of my entire life.

I'm in a state of dilemma . . .
soon-to-be 5 months of relationship seems nothing to her.
I felt something amiss once again.
Maybe i just can't change her perceptions,
yeah i've tried, really tried so hard.

Though i might not be the best,
but i can give her the best of what i can.
I felt being screwed up, why?
I don't know how i should express myself,
but baby, you know my feelings for you are real for sure.
Maybe by stepping out from your life, you won't be tied up and freedom is what you're always yearning for isn't it?
I know it's time for me to make a choice,
but saying goodbye seems to be the hardest word.

When you truly loves someone, you'll be contented even if their happiness means you're not part of it.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Maybe you'd feel easy without me in your life.
I'm both mentally and physically tired.
Baby, sorry, but i love you.

Maybe, maybe not

2009-05-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

I logged on to FaceBook just now.
I saw a shortout on her profile which doubts me.
Dont know if i'm that particular person that she's referring to whom pissed her off by contacting her every single day.
Maybe, Maybe not.

Anyway, my life's changing.
Kind of random i know, but i'm just not used to it.
Everything just felt weird, really weird.
Maybe i'm just a lil' over sensitive.
Maybe i'm just thinking too much.
Maybe i've changed, but maybe not . . .

It's time

2009-05-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

4 months before my enlistment people.
I've gotta treasure the time left with her,
cause the outcome is predictable i should say.

Indescribable feelings came across my mind,
- has anyone ever truly loves me.?
I doubt so cause history kept repeating itself.

I just hope she'll remember our memorable times spent together when she decides to step out from my life someday.

Hello

2009-04-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

Oh well, i've deleted my initial-blog.
I thought of creating a new and personal blog.
So it shall be based on my *hidden* thoughts and feelings.
Bear no grudges on my postings.